This month we had a wonderful conversation with Pearl Farquharson of Designed by Delsie. 

A veteran of the Boston culinary and event planning scenes, Pearl talks about the journey of starting her own business, navigating tricky family dynamics, and the biggest mistake that couples make when planning weddings.

SL: How did you first become interested in cuisine and the event world?

PF: It always amazed me that when you bring people together around the table and you put amazing food in front of them, it’s impossible for them to argue. When you can understand people’s food and culture you can have a commonality.  That propelled my early decision to take an interest in food.

Growing up with two immigrant parents from Jamaica, we didn’t have a lot. My mom always had a saying: “If you have manners, you can eat at the table with the King and Queen of England.” As I became older, I realized that etiquette and manners would give me a window into understanding backgrounds and cultures, and that would be a foundation as I developed my company and the values that I have for myself.

I enrolled in Johnson and Wales, where I started with culinary arts. But I realized that, although I loved food, I didn’t have the opportunity to meet people, and I loved talking! Coupled with that, and the fact that I couldn’t wear makeup in the kitchen, I said, ‘Oh no, no, no, this wasn’t for me.’

SL: Why did you decide to open Designed By Delsie?

PF: I paid my way through school with two jobs -- one was with Nordstrom, where I was a personal stylist, where I learned the art of customer service to a high-profile market. In the other job, I used my culinary skills to cater dinner parties for the affluent on the east side of Providence.

When I graduated from college, I had the most amazing opportunity to work as a wedding coordinator with The Catered Affair at the Boston Public Library. I learned so much -- it was an amazing time. I had moved to Boston to be closer to the job, and when the slow season hit, I didn’t quite know that layoffs would be part of the industry... they told me, ‘you did an amazing job, but unfortunately we have to let you go.’ I was so crushed… I was devastated. I wish I could say that I mapped out Designed By Delsie and [my whole career trajectory], but I really started this experience out of sheer desperation.

They always say that the most successful people are the ones who don’t have two options -- you really have to figure it out. I have a Harvard degree four times over in mistakes, but I’m still here! That really set the foundation for what I value and the company culture that I’ve created.”

SL: Can you tell me more about those values? What is the Designed by Delsie team like?

PF: My team is great! It's myself and two associates and we're really passionate about what to do. At Delsie, we pride ourselves on [living out] a lot of the principles that I learned as a young girl: Be courteous, try to understand different cultures, pursue each and every thing you do to the best of your ability, and really become excellent at what you do. 

We're really passionate about the work that we do as planners, but in addition, I'm really passionate about being an entrepreneur because I feel that that is where I have the most impact in the community. I believe in supporting women owned businesses and supporting black businesses, because they're excellent. I get to live those passions of mine every day, I get to train and mentor young women. I get to collaborate with the most creative of professionals and be able to leverage their gifts and talents to be against the world. So I guess in a way I create my own little bubble of growth.

SL: What makes Designed by Delsie unique compared to other high-end planning services?

PF: You only get one of me! So I will say that my background, I think, is very unique in the sense that I'm actually trained as a fine dining chef. I have a really strong ability to not just look at food as another line item, but to really use it to enhance the overall event.

I also say too, that I'm Jamaican, which means that I know how to throw a good party! So, you know, there's always going to be really great music. There's always going to be amazing entertainment. And I also think that the best part about my team and I is that we are just authentically us. And our clients really value that we are extremely knowledgeable and that we really create a personalized concierge style approach to planning their days. We're dreaming with our clients, but we're also showing up as authentically ourselves. 

I like to think that our style’s different. I think it's bold. I think it's unapologetic. It's a reflection of how I love to approach planning and design… when you're trying to tell a story of your love, be bold about it, scream from the top of the mountains. “This is me, here I am, let’s make a statement, let's make it happen.” So we tend to really design with a bold contemporary approach, which our clients really appreciate as well.

SL: What is the biggest mistake that you see couples make?

PF: Hiring their venue before they hire me! And here’s why: There's a lot of decisions that you're going to make for your wedding day. And I think that one of the biggest decisions that you will make is the venue, because that is going to set the foundation of the story that you're going to tell. 

Having unrealistic expectations regarding the budget is also a big one. While there are many resources online which serve as excellent supporting tools to determine your wedding day expenses, they do not take into consideration a couple’s desired caliber of experience or non-negotiables. 

The date is also based on thousands of weddings and not for the individual couple. It is important to establish these three factors before making any permanent decisions regarding your wedding day.  This is the value of working with a professional wedding consultant.

SL: How do you help couples navigate tricky family dynamics, when they exist? How far do you wade in, or where do you draw the line?

PF: So when you're hiring me as a planner, I like to also joke, [you’re not just hiring] a planner. I am the therapist, I am the lawyer. I am everything rolled into one and I laugh as by the end of this all, I literally I'm part of the family.

I try to understand, what are [each party’s] non-negotiables and what are the things that they’re able to negotiate on? I also help the couple to understand that this is equally as emotional for parents, because they're your parents. Typically I’m not only managing the day, I'm managing the rehearsal dinner [and the] brunch. I always try to look at it as three different parties, because that opens even more to negotiation. It's like, “alright, let's let them have their day.” 

I also like to approach the situation by helping the family understand -- what exactly is the tradition? What exactly is the proper etiquette to approach this situation? if the goal is to make you an exceptional host or an exceptional guest of honor, what exactly does that mean? By establishing the core of what that means, we can kind of add our little flair to it.  And then also most importantly, that we are honoring the fact that this is the couple's day as well.

SL: What are some of the considerations you have in mind when helping a couple book music?

PF: There is a balancing act between honoring the couple and thinking about the guests that they're serving. I think that the best music experience is one that can still honor the couple, but also [takes into account] the guests as a whole and having a variety. 

I also look at a wedding day as containing multiple experiences. There's the ceremony aspects that can be an opportunity to showcase one style of music. Perhaps it's classical, perhaps it's country. And cocktail hour could be another element, and reception something else entirely. So there is a lot of opportunity to be creative.

We’re a music blog so we have to ask…

What do you sing in the car? 

PF: Who Run the World (Girls) by Beyoncé is my favorite hype song when I need an extra boost of confidence!

Best song for a lazy Sunday morning?

PF: Sade

What makes you get up and dance? 

PF: I'm an island girl at heart - you can find me vibing to a good reggae tune any time of the day!

THANK YOU Pearl and the Designed by Delsie team for contributing to the SpeechLess blog. We’re excited to see more Delsie events come to life!

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